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02-22-02
He Remembers Every Tear

  "You have kept count of my tossings;
         put my tears in your bottle.
         Are they not in your book? 
   Then my enemies will turn back
         in the day when I call.
        This I know, that  God is for me. 
   In God, whose word I praise,
        in the Lord, whose word I praise, 
  in God I trust; I shall not be afraid.
        What can man do to me? 
  I must perform my vows to you, O God;
        I will render thank offerings to you. 
  For you have delivered my soul from death,
        yes, my feet from falling,
     that I may walk before God
         in the light of life."
 
Psalm 56:98-13

I was meditating on the past year, specifically exactly a year ago this night, and thinking over the struggles and painful times. There were many times when the tears flowed down in abundance...and it was a bleak picture recalling those memories to mind. Then God showed me the above scripture. He spoke to me of how he saw each and every tear that I shed in the past year. - They are all recorded in his book, and he remembers them! Every night I tossed and turned...he counted every sleepless moment, and still does. They are all before him.

But what he would have me remember, is his comfort in the midst of it. Not only did he take note of my trials, he also reached out to me in them. He showered me with grace, and spoke words of comfort to my soul. Perhaps it took me a while to hear them, but once I did my soul was strengthened. God has been faithful to me. He has been there, and he done so much in my life through the hard times. His grace has been entirely sufficient.

My Father in heaven looks down with sympathy on his aching children. He captures their every tear in a bottle. He caputred all my tears in a bottle! The Lord is compassionate. He is not far from us in our troubles, but nearer than any earthly companion. And this is the God who has been with me through the night.

02-08-02
Souls Attuned to the Spirit

"When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, 'Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.' So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart." Luke 2: 15-19

"Zechariah asked the angel, 'How can I be sure of this? I am an old man and my wife is well along in years.' The angel answered, 'I am Gabriel. I stand in the presence of God, and I have been sent to speak to you and to tell you this good news. And now you will be silent and not able to speak until the day this happens, because you did not believe my words, which will come true at their proper time.'" Luke 1:18-20

"Now there was a man in Jerusalem called Simeon, who was righteous and devout. He was waiting for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was upon him. It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not die before he had seen the Lord's Christ. Moved by the Spirit, he went into the temple courts." Luke 2:25-27

Last night I read the first five chapters of Luke. One of the things that stood out to me was how he said that the people stored up, or treasured or laid up things in their hearts. Much of the time it was evidences of Gods power, signs of his mesiahship, or displays of his provision. Several occasions Luke tells how Mary treasured something in her heart. She was thoughtful and aware of the work of Gods hand around her. She did not forget about them, but held on to them as precious. Instead of being so occupied with business or worldliness, she considered and pondered Gods work. Little escaped her notice and she learned lessons from each experience.

Luke also seemed to paint contrasting pictures of some who heard Gods leading and believed, and those who heard but did not obey. Many were filled with the Holy Spirit and attuned to his voice. In little details of life they heard Gods voice directing them. Over and over again people were following the Spirits call in many areas of their lives. God speaks to his people! He guides us in every way. Are we listening for his voice? Are we sensitive to his Spirit? Some heard, but they would not listen. Will I? How often does God try to speak to me but I am not listening?

Lord, help me to store up your works in my heart. When you shower you love upon me and display your power, help me to pause and consider it, that I might lay it up. Make my soul sensitive to your voice, so that I hear your leading.

02-07-02
Thoughts on Marriage Issues

Recently I have been perplexed at my own feelings on different issues. Last night I had a chance to think about and pray over them, and I believe I understand myself now. Hehe. A lot of it was coming from the unusually large amount of "marrige is hard" info that I've heard in the past week. I was having a hard time understanding why it was making me feel sad or anxious.

You know how when you love someone, you really don't want to hurt them? How it tears you up to know you've brought them pain? Likewise, I was saddened thinking of how I will hurt and sin against my future husband - it is heartwrenching! I wish I could be perfect, so that I would never sin against him or God!!! But that was my dilemma...I knew I could never reach that state of perfection and that at some point I would cause him pain and dishonor the Lord. I think I need to accept my sinfulness (I'm not to heaven yet...!) and remember that I can always ask forgivness and "make it up."

In the end, this just serves to spur me on to really focus on those areas that I think could create issues later. Yes, I will sin. But I really don't think that it has to be the common pattern. Rather, I want to strive to make it the occasional exception. When I fail, God will forgive me and my husband will too. After all, he'll be sinning against me!

God gives grace for the day, not for tomorrow. His grace will be available in the same powerful way for me that it is today. :) *happy sigh* So now I am sorted out. :D

02-04-02
A New Month

"Blessed be the Lord! for he has heard the voice of my pleas for mercy. The Lord is my shield, in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exhults, and with song I give thanks to him."
Psalm 28:6-7

Don't you just love it when a new month gets off to a great start?! I do! Makes me feel more optimistic about what the rest of the days will hold.

I continue to remain in a state of awe-filled gratitude at all that the Lord has done, is doing, and will do for me. His loving kindness abounds!! I am so blessed. :)